The More We Talk, the Less We Hear

"Wherefore, my beloved brethren, let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath." — James 1:19 (KJV)

We live in a culture that celebrates having an opinion.

Social media rewards the quickest response. Television rewards the loudest voice. Conversations often become debates, where the goal isn't to understand the other person but to prove our own point.

Unfortunately, that mindset can quietly make its way into the Church.

How many conversations have we entered already deciding what we were going to say before the other person finished speaking?

How often have we interrupted because we were afraid we'd forget our point?

How many times have we been more concerned with being understood than with understanding someone else?

The truth is, the more focused we become on speaking, the less capable we become of hearing.

Listening Is an Act of Love

Listening isn't simply remaining silent while someone else talks.

Real listening is choosing to value another person enough to understand what they're saying before deciding how to respond.

Paul writes,

"Let nothing be done through strife or vainglory; but in lowliness of mind let each esteem other better than themselves." — Philippians 2:3 (KJV)

When we interrupt others, we unintentionally communicate that our thoughts are more important than theirs.

When we refuse to listen, we tell people that our opinion matters more than their heart.

Biblical love doesn't begin with speaking.

It begins with humility.

Jesus Listened

One of the most remarkable things about Jesus is that He often asked questions.

Did He need information?

Of course not.

He already knew people's hearts.

Yet He still asked.

"Whom say ye that I am?"

"What wilt thou that I shall do unto thee?"

"Lovest thou me?"

Jesus invited people to speak because He wanted relationship, not merely information.

He showed people they mattered.

He gave them space to express their fears, doubts, hopes, and faith.

If the Son of God was willing to slow down and listen, shouldn't His followers do the same?

Quick to Hear, Slow to Speak

James gives us one of the simplest—and most challenging—commands in Scripture.

"Let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath."

Notice the order.

We are commanded to become quick listeners before becoming quick speakers.

That runs completely opposite to our natural tendencies.

Our flesh wants to defend itself.

It wants to explain.

It wants to win.

But the Holy Spirit produces patience, gentleness, and self-control.

Sometimes the most spiritual response isn't finding the perfect words.

It's choosing to listen.

Listening Reveals Our Hearts

Our willingness—or unwillingness—to listen often exposes something deeper.

If I constantly interrupt...

If I always have to have the last word...

If I become frustrated when someone disagrees...

Perhaps the issue isn't communication.

Perhaps it's pride.

Humility is willing to learn.

Humility believes there is value in hearing another person's perspective.

Humility doesn't mean we compromise biblical truth.

It means we love people enough to hear them before we answer them.

Scripture even warns us,

"He that answereth a matter before he heareth it, it is folly and shame unto him." — Proverbs 18:13 (KJV)

How many misunderstandings, broken friendships, church divisions, and family conflicts could have been avoided if we had simply listened first?

Becoming Better Representatives of Christ

Our goal as believers isn't to win every argument.

Our goal is to represent Jesus.

People should leave conversations with us feeling respected—even when we disagree.

That doesn't happen because we speak louder.

It happens because we love deeper.

Listening allows us to understand where someone is hurting.

It helps us know how to pray.

It opens doors for truth to be received because people know they have been heard.

The next time you're in a conversation, resist the urge to interrupt.

Don't think about your response while the other person is still talking.

Listen completely.

Ask questions.

Seek understanding before offering an answer.

You may discover that one of the greatest ways to reflect Christ isn't by saying more...

It's by listening better.

A Final Thought

Every conversation gives us a choice.

We can value our own opinion more than the person standing in front of us.

Or we can follow the example of Christ by slowing down, listening well, and loving deeply.

The world is full of people waiting for someone to hear them.

May the Church be known as the people who do.

Thank you for reading!

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Pastor Scott