How to Get Your Prayers Answered: Abide First, Then Ask

Jesus made an incredible promise about prayer:

“If you abide in me, and my words abide in you, ask whatever you wish, and it will be done for you.”— John 15:7 ESV

We often focus on the last part: “Ask whatever you wish.”

But what if the key to understanding that promise is found in what Jesus said first?

“If you abide in me, and my words abide in you…”

Jesus wasn't giving us a formula for manipulating God into giving us whatever we want. He was inviting us into a relationship so deep that our prayers begin to change.

Prayer Begins With Relationship

To abide means to remain, stay, and dwell.

Jesus isn't calling us to visit Him whenever something goes wrong and then disappear once the crisis is over. He is calling us to live in relationship with Him.

And something happens when we do.

The more we know Jesus, the more His Word begins shaping our hearts. His priorities begin affecting our priorities. His desires begin changing our desires.

Eventually, our prayers start changing too.

Instead of only praying:

“God, this is what I want.”

We begin asking:

“God, what do You want in this?”

That doesn't mean we stop making requests. God invites us to ask. But prayer becomes more than presenting God with our preferred outcome.

Prayer becomes seeking His heart in our circumstances.

Do You want me to move or stay?

Do You want me to act or wait?

Do You want to change this situation, or is there something You want to change in me through it?

That's a very different way to pray.

When His Words Abide in Us, Our Prayers Change

First John 5:14 tells us that if we ask anything according to God's will, He hears us.

That fits perfectly with John 15.

How do we begin recognizing God's will?

We abide.

We spend time with Him. We study His Word. We listen. We obey. We allow Scripture to correct our thinking rather than simply looking for verses that support what we've already decided we want.

The closer we become to Jesus, the more prayer changes from:

“God, how can I get You into my will?”

to:

“God, bring me into Yours.”

Sometimes that means God changes our prayer.

We may begin asking Him to remove something, only for Him to teach us how to walk through it.

We might ask Him to open a door, only to discover He is protecting us by keeping it closed.

We might pray for God to change another person, only for God to begin dealing with something in our own heart.

And sometimes God answers by giving us instructions.

Israel still had to walk around Jericho. Naaman still had to wash in the Jordan. Peter was told to go fishing to find the coin needed for the temple tax.

Sometimes we're praying, “God, do something!”

while God is saying, “I've already shown you the next step.”

Prayer and obedience often walk together.

Can Our Prayers Be Hindered?

Scripture also teaches that certain things can hinder prayer.

James warns about asking with selfish motives (James 4:3). Jesus addresses unforgiveness when speaking about prayer (Mark 11:25). Peter warns husbands that how they treat their wives can hinder their prayers (1 Peter 3:7). Psalm 66:18 warns about cherishing sin in our hearts.

But don't turn these passages into another formula:

“Fix these things and God owes me what I asked for.”

That's not the point.

Notice what these hindrances have in common.

They also damage relationship.

God isn't merely interested in the words coming out of our mouths. He cares about what's happening inside our hearts.

Don't Be Afraid to Ask God for Good Things

None of this means we should be afraid to ask God for something we want.

God isn't against His children enjoying good things.

Maybe you want a better house.

Maybe you need another vehicle.

Maybe you're praying for your business to grow.

Maybe there's simply something you would really enjoy having.

Ask Him.

But abiding changes how we hold the request.

Instead of demanding it, we can pray:

“Father, I would really like this. If it's good for me, please provide it. But I don't want anything You give me to become more important than You. If it will come between us, I don't want it at the cost of our relationship.”

That's not weak faith.

That's trust.

Relationship gives us the freedom to ask God boldly while also giving us the confidence to trust His answer.

Sometimes He says yes.

Sometimes He says wait.

Sometimes He gives us steps to take.

And sometimes He says no.

But His answer doesn't determine whether He loves us.

Abide First. Then Ask.

The greatest answer to prayer isn't getting everything we've ever wanted.

It's getting so close to Jesus that what we want increasingly begins to look like what He wants.

So make your requests known to God.

Tell Him what you need.

Tell Him what hurts.

Tell Him what you're hoping for.

Ask boldly.

But then stay long enough to listen.

Abide.

Because prayer isn't about convincing a distant God to agree with us.

It's about drawing close enough to our Father that we begin recognizing His heart.

And maybe that's the part of Jesus' promise we've been overlooking:

Before He said ask, He said abide.

Abide first. Then ask.

Pastor Scott