When Discernment Becomes Accusation

Be Careful With Secondhand Spiritual Opinions

There is something I believe the Church needs to become increasingly careful about: believing something about another believer, pastor, ministry, or church simply because someone else told us what they “discerned.”

Discernment is biblical. We are supposed to test what we hear. We are supposed to recognize false teaching. We are supposed to examine fruit.

But discernment can also become a spiritual-sounding covering for something Scripture repeatedly warns us against: gossip, accusation, assumption, and division.

And sometimes the difference is found in the heart behind it.

Sometimes Gossip Learns Spiritual Language

Most Christians would recognize obvious gossip.

But what happens when gossip begins sounding spiritual?

“I just feel something is off with that church.”

“God showed me something about that pastor.”

“I discerned something wrong with that person.”

“I can't explain it, but you need to stay away from them.”

Those statements can carry tremendous weight when they come from someone we trust spiritually.

And maybe that person really did sense something.

But there is another possibility we need enough humility to acknowledge:

Maybe they misunderstood what they sensed.

Maybe there was something happening in their own heart.

Maybe previous hurt influenced their perception.

Maybe they walked into the situation already expecting something negative.

Maybe they heard only part of a conversation.

Maybe they misunderstood someone's intentions.

Or maybe they simply got it wrong.

Paul reminds us:

“For we know in part…”—1 Corinthians 13:9

That should produce humility in us.

We can genuinely love God and still misunderstand something.

We can sincerely believe we are discerning correctly and still reach the wrong conclusion.

That doesn't mean we stop discerning.

It means we discern humbly.

Secondhand Discernment Shouldn't Become Firsthand Certainty

This is where I believe we need to become especially cautious.

Someone else's spiritual impression should not automatically become your conviction about another person.

If someone tells you something concerning about a church, pastor, ministry, or believer, don't immediately adopt their conclusion as your own.

Pray.

Look at the fruit.

Examine what is actually being taught.

Compare it with Scripture.

Seek understanding.

And when appropriate, actually speak with the person involved.

There is a tremendous difference between someone saying:

“This concerned me. Pray about it and look into it yourself.”

and someone saying:

“I discerned this about them, so you need to believe me.”

Mature discernment doesn't need to control what everyone else concludes.

It trusts that the same Holy Spirit who speaks to one believer is capable of leading another.

Jesus Gave Us a Pattern

Jesus addressed what we should do when there is genuinely a problem between believers.

Matthew 18:15 begins by telling us that if our brother sins against us, we should go and address the matter between ourselves and that person.

And then Jesus says something incredibly important:

“...thou hast gained thy brother.”

That tells us the purpose of the confrontation.

The goal was to gain a brother, not destroy one.

If the person refuses to listen, then others are brought into the process. If the matter still cannot be resolved, it eventually comes before the church.

There is progression.

There is patience.

There is opportunity for understanding.

There is opportunity for repentance.

There is opportunity for reconciliation.

What we don't see is Jesus instructing us to begin by publicly telling everyone what we think is wrong with someone.

Biblical correction is designed around restoration.

Correction and Accusation Are Not the Same Thing

This distinction matters.

Discernment seeks truth.

Correction seeks restoration.

Accusation has already reached its verdict.

Correction says:

“This concerns me. Can we talk about it?”

Accusation says:

“I know what you are.”

Correction leaves room for information you may not have.

Accusation assumes it already knows everything necessary.

Correction wants repentance when sin is present.

Accusation often seems more interested in making sure everyone knows the person was wrong.

Correction hopes the relationship can be restored.

Accusation can actually become disappointed when restoration happens because it has become invested in the person's guilt.

That should concern us.

Our goal should never be someone's destruction.

Paul wrote in Galatians 6:1 that if someone is overtaken in a fault, those who are spiritual should restore that person in a spirit of meekness.

Notice the word:

Restore.

Biblical spirituality doesn't merely identify what is broken.

It wants to see what is broken made whole.

This Doesn't Mean Ignoring False Teaching

We need balance here.

Biblical caution against accusation does not mean we never identify false teaching.

Scripture specifically tells us:

“Beloved, believe not every spirit, but try the spirits whether they are of God…”—1 John 4:1

The Bereans were commended because they searched the Scriptures to determine whether what they were being taught was true (Acts 17:11).

There are teachings that should be confronted.

There are wolves Scripture warns us about.

There are situations where leaders must protect people.

But there is an important difference between saying:

“This teaching contradicts Scripture, and here is where.”

and saying:

“Something is spiritually wrong with that person because somebody told me they discerned it.”

One can be examined.

The other often depends entirely upon trusting someone's perception.

Truth does not need gossip to defend it.

If a teaching is false, open the Bible and show why.

If a claim is factual, establish the facts.

If a brother has sinned, follow Christ's pattern toward correction and restoration.

But we should be extremely cautious about destroying someone's reputation based upon spiritual impressions that cannot be examined.

Even Jesus Made an Important Distinction

Jesus strongly confronted the Pharisees. He exposed their hypocrisy and warned about their influence.

Yet Matthew 23 contains an important distinction.

Jesus told the crowds and His disciples that the scribes and Pharisees sat in Moses' seat, and He told them to observe what they taught while warning:

“...do not ye after their works: for they say, and do not.”—Matthew 23:3

Think about that.

Jesus could identify what was wrong with them without pretending everything associated with them was automatically wrong.

Elsewhere, Jesus warned His disciples about the doctrine of the Pharisees (Matthew 16:6–12).

That is discernment.

Examine what is taught.

Examine the fruit.

Recognize what is wrong.

But don't abandon truth merely because it came through an imperfect person.

If we're not careful, we can become so focused on deciding who is worthy of being heard that we stop testing what is actually being said.

There Is Hope in Humble Discernment

This isn't written to make anyone afraid of discernment.

Quite the opposite.

I want the Church to become better at discerning.

Healthy discernment doesn't make us suspicious of everyone.

It makes us dependent upon God.

It sends us to Scripture.

It teaches us to listen carefully.

It makes us slower to repeat accusations.

It reminds us that we don't know every conversation, every motive, every circumstance, or every part of someone's story.

And it leaves room for something beautiful:

Reconciliation.

Maybe the person you were warned about isn't who you were told they were.

Maybe there was a misunderstanding.

Maybe there really is something wrong, but God wants to bring correction rather than destruction.

Maybe someone has sinned but is desperately ready to repent.

Maybe two believers who have been divided could actually become brothers again if someone would stop spreading the story long enough to begin a conversation.

Isn't that closer to the ministry Jesus gave us?

Before You Believe the Report

So when someone tells you something about another believer, pastor, ministry, or church, be cautious.

Don't immediately reject the person being talked about.

But don't immediately reject the warning either.

Test it.

Pray.

Search Scripture.

Examine the fruit.

Look for facts.

And when possible, seek understanding from the person actually involved.

We don't have to choose between being gullible and being suspicious.

There is another way.

We can be discerning and humble at the same time.

Because spiritual maturity isn't demonstrated by how quickly we recognize something wrong with somebody else.

Sometimes it is demonstrated by how carefully we handle what we think we have recognized.

The Church doesn't need less discernment.

We need discernment that looks like Jesus.

Discernment that loves truth without loving accusation.

Discernment that confronts error without enjoying destruction.

Discernment that protects people without spreading rumors.

Discernment that recognizes sin while still hoping for repentance.

Discernment that leaves room for reconciliation.

Before you allow someone else's opinion to determine how you see your brother or sister, seek the Lord for yourself.

Because sometimes gossip doesn't sound like gossip.

Sometimes it sounds spiritual.

And that is exactly why we need discernment.

Pastor Scott